While anal sex is commonly associated with male homosexuality, research shows that not all gay men engage in anal sex and that it is not uncommon in heterosexual relationships. Although anal sex most commonly means penile–anal penetration, sources sometimes use anal intercourse to exclusively denote penile–anal penetration, and anal sex to denote any form of anal sexual activity, especially between pairings as opposed to anal masturbation. Other forms of anal sex include fingering, the use of sex toys for anal penetration, oral sex performed on the anus ( anilingus), and pegging. If your partner does seem worried, she suggests reassuring them that you're invested in both of you enjoying sex because you care about your relationship and your sex life together.Anal sex or anal intercourse is generally the insertion and thrusting of the erect penis into a person's anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure. Definitely don't use phrases like "You never please me so we need this," Balestrieri adds. Emphasize what you already enjoy about your sex life and how you want to add to it. "It's about increasing sexual pleasure opportunities and connection between both people."īring up your ideas in a moment that's neutral and nonsexual. "To the best of your ability, reassure your partner this isn't about deficit," Balestrieri says. If you're interested in exploring sex toys and want to bring it up to your partner, you don't want them to think you're unhappy with their performance or your sex life. No need to rush to the sex store and buy everything in sight!
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So if this is all new to you, start small with a bullet vibe, or even a blindfold, and see how it feels. When trying anything new, Fleming says you always want to "put a toe in the water rather than jumping straight into the deep end." "They take the focus away from penetration being the coup de grâce of sex and bring the focus back to what's really important-which is all of the fun, pleasurable sensations, and just the adventure of being sexual together." "They allow for different kinds of sexual experiences and make taking each other to new limits a lot more accessible."Īnd, of course, if one or both partners is dealing with any sexual dysfunction, whether it's lowered libido, erectile dysfunction, or pain during penetration, adding toys into the mix can make both partners very happy, Balestrieri tells mbg. It can be very intimate and help you two deepen your emotional and sexual connection.īalestrieri notes that incorporating toys can also help you find new ways that you (and your partner) can experience pleasure and reach new limits. On top of that, exploring new things in the bedroom, whether new positions or new toys, opens up conversation between you and your partner about your sex life and what you both desire. And plus, "there's a level of intensity that you can't duplicate with your hands, your mouth, or penetration."Īs Balestrieri adds, "Our bodies are incredible vehicles for pleasure, but we can't expect our bodies to do everything all the time, so sometimes it can be really nice to give our bodies a little bit of help and a break so we can experience pleasure without having to do all the hard work." "There's the value of trying something new that you haven't done before," Fleming says.
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The better question might be, what aren't the benefits? Balestrieri and Fleming both note that as humans, we love novelty-and that includes in our sex lives.